Wonky Willie's Authentic Interactive Extravaganza

You are children, and your parents brought you to a sparsely decorated warehouse that was promoted as a delightful afternoon in a chocolatier's workshop. Wonky Willie's Authentic Interactive Extravaganza is a dungeon crawl coated in sugary surrealism, drizzled with danger, and a rich filling of dread. It is [current year], and artificially intelligent [sic] slop threatens to clog every interconnected tube comprising the internet, occasionally bursting out like a sewer pipe into the real world. One such instance saw a Glasgow warehouse converted into a nightmarish, allegedly Willy Wonka-themed "interactive experience" featuring destitute actors, derelict sets, and a deranged script. This bizarre circumstance brought a team of silly bloggers together to write this adventure for the sheer absurdity of it all. This adventure is inspired by the AI-tainted rubbish inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The only involvement of so-called Artificial Intelligence in the creation of this adventure is as the object of ridicule. It is the creation of a handful of human hobbyists to serve as encherining entertainment for your table. After all, no robot could possibly take this long to capitalize on a flash-in-the-pan viral moment. PROMPT: What will the reader find in this adventure? Simple character prompts for playing as the mischievous children stuck in this hell, including starting equipment based on each player-child's vice 14-room dungeon with impossible architecture and farcical situations Random encounter table with monsters with system-neutral suggested stats, such as the Oreogre 1d20 list of unusually flavored jelly beans that may make you lose your appetite. LIMIT ONE PER CHILD! The unknown, a sinister antagonist that lurks behind every corner and inside every air conditioning vent “I ran this adventure. Despite the players playing as children, it was the most needlessly violent OSR adventure I've ever run. We laughed and laughed.” - W.F. Smith The team includes

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